Every couple would like their ceremony to reflect the beauty and dignity of the Sacrament of Marriage.

For some couples the planning and preparation of their Catholic Wedding Ceremony may appear to be a stressful, overwhelming and perhaps somewhat of a mysterious challenge. Research shows that stress is likely to occur through the combination of lack of information, lack of control and lack of time.

Relax! The Catholic Church and all the different ministries within it are prepared to assist you every step of the way. These ten essential steps will guide you through the planning of one of the most memorable moments of your life.

1. START EARLY

Few couples would attempt to plan their reception at the last minute and the same is true with your ceremony. You and your fiancé should schedule a minimum of six months to plan a thoughtful, meaningful liturgy and to attend your required marriage preparation courses.

2. MEET WITH YOUR PRIEST

Couples often assume if they have the date booked at the church they are then free to move their focus onto the reception.

It is rare to book your date without a personal meeting with your priest but if you have, you are not finished yet.

Your priest will discuss your reasons for seeking marriage. He will consider your current circumstances such as are you both practicing Catholics? Will this be an interfaith marriage? Have one of you been previously married? This meeting will help determine which form of the Catholic Rite of Marriage would be appropriate for you or if there are any problems that must be attended to before the marriage.

3. REGISTER FOR YOUR MARRIAGE PREPARATION COURSES (PRE-CANA)

As a couple, you will be requested to attend a marriage preparation course before your marriage. Marriage preparation, or Pre-Cana courses as they are sometimes referred to in various parts of the US, are specifically designed information sessions that will help prepare couples for their future married life.

These programs will help you examine your expectations of married life, along with providing helpful tools for increasing communication skills. There will also be plenty of opportunities for meaningful conversation with each other. These sessions may also be a wealth of information on the process of preparing your ceremony.

Don't slide in on the eleventh hour when booking these courses. Many couples have remarked on how this reflective personal time with each other greatly enriched their engagement period.

Book as early as possible and gain the resources for improved communication, it will be an invaluable tool during your wedding planning.

4. MEET WITH THE PEOPLE WHO WILL BE ASSISTING IN THE PLANNING OF YOUR CEREMONY

Just as you will seek the help of other professionals such as a caterer, florist and a photographer, your parish will also have professionals to aid in the planning details of your ceremony.

Seek the help of lay ministers who are trained in a variety of skills that may be needed to assist you. They can help in planning your liturgy by providing trained lectors or cantors, selecting music and suggesting musicians.

5. MEET WITH YOUR MUSIC DIRCTOR

Music will set the mood for your ceremony. Your music director is a professional who can guide you through this important part of your wedding ceremony. You will be required to choose selections from approved liturgical music. When making your selections for your Prelude music keep in mind that light, uplifting music will spread a feeling of festivity and celebration.

Contemporary songs will not convey the sacredness and dignity of your wedding ceremony. Your contemporary favorites will have to wait until the reception.

Some parishes have a policy that does not permit outside musicians or requires them to be included only with the approval of the parish's musical director.

6. PREPARE YOUR WEDDING LITURGY

Many couples are surprised to find the level of involvement they will have in planning their wedding liturgy. Depending on the level of their religious practice, parishes will invite couples to choose the readings of the service. You may have choices to make in the areas of Scripture Readings, Responsorial Psalms, Gospel Reading, Vows, Prayers and Blessings. The level of participation is at the discretion of the priest and parish team.

These selections will require discussion and prayerful consideration as they will reflect not only the couples' personal faith statement but more importantly, the faith of the celebrating community.

All templates supplied by CatholicBrides.com contain the full text of all the choices needed to create your ceremony.

If you would like a modern interpretation for further study on your reading selections, we suggest browsing through our book directory. Your diocese or parish may publish or provide their own guide on selecting readings.


7. SELECT OTHER PARTICIPANTS TO INCLUDE IN YOUR CEREMONY

The choice of participants for your wedding can be more than just your bridesmaids and groomsmen. Throughout the formation of your ceremony there will be opportunities to include other people from various ministries when this is acceptable to the local parish.

Often the participation of your friends and relatives in the ministries of the wedding will depend on their familiarity with these ministries or their involvement in their own parishes. A wedding is not the occasion for on the job training, but those who (for example) read in their own communities may be welcomed to read the Scriptures at your wedding.

Other ministries (serving or distributing Holy Communion) require both training and mandate. Your parish priest will discuss this with you.

CatholicBrides.com has provided a list of participants that may be included in your celebration. For more information on these participants and the duties they will perform, go to Selecting Your Wedding Participants.

8. ORDER YOUR WEDDING PROGRAMS

As the bride and groom you have a special role in offering hospitality to your guests. Providing a worship aid in the form of a wedding ceremony program will guide the assembly through the liturgy, assisting them in their full participation. This is a thoughtful way to express your desire to make every person feel comfortable and included.

CatholicBrides.com offers several choices in preparing a wedding program, ranging from a simple outline through to the complete text of your Nuptial Mass including your music selections.

9. SET THE TONE OF YOUR CELEBRATION

A Catholic wedding ceremony is a very public affair. It is not "the bride's day" or the "couple's day" but a celebration for everyone and you will be the host and hostess.

Throughout the country many brides are abandoning the custom of being sequestered before the ceremony. Instead they are joining their grooms beforehand to greet their guests together at the door. Later they will both proceed down the aisle, sometimes accompanied by their parents. If you feel you just can't give up the bride's procession (and if the parish agrees), then make sure you have friendly attentive ushers to meet your guests.

Be prepared to join in the songs and prayers during the ceremony. When you are fully participating, your guests will feel more invited to actively join you in the celebration.

10. CHECK YOUR CHURCH'S DECORATING REGULATIONS

Be aware that not all Catholic Churches are the same. Individual parishes have different needs and policies for decorating their church.

The use of confetti along with rice and other substances that may be tracked back into the church has been frowned upon for years because of the clean up afterwards. Some parishes have specific requirements for the placement of flowers or pew bows. Check on any flowers that may already be in place or whether additional arrangements should be left or collected after the ceremony. During some liturgical seasons your church may have a requirement towards decorating to reflect the season. If you are aware of these requests early it will make planning more stress free.

Always arrange to have someone remove forgotten items and to generally tidy up after your ceremony.