We understand that you may be knee deep in Emily Post 's etiquette rules or Martha Stewart's ideas for weddings. However, that information may not be specific to your Catholic wedding ceremony and may even be at odds with what the liturgy permits.

CatholicBrides.com focuses only on your wedding ceremony because we understand that the planning of your liturgy will be as significant as your reception.

The planning of your Catholic wedding ceremony requires the same amount of attention to detail as your reception. We provide a Catholic wedding ceremony planner, to help you confidently plan your Catholic wedding ceremony, in the same timely manner.

12+ Months Before:

As a couple, meet with your parish priest.

At your initial meeting your priest will wish to explore your intentions for seeking marriage. He will also make inquires as to any impediments that may prevent your marriage in the Catholic Church.

You will both need access to your baptismal and confirmation certificates, if you have been baptized in the Catholic faith. Only the baptismal certificate will be required for other Christian faiths. If you do not have these in your possession they can be accessed through contact with the original churches of your baptisms.

Your priest or officiate will explore if there are any impediments to your marriage, such as any previous marriages of either partner or any external pressures to marry. If you will be entering into an interfaith marriage, your priest will discuss the requirements for a Catholic wedding. At this time the non-Catholic partner may request more information on Catholicism or they may wish to explore conversion to the Catholic Faith.

Your priest will discuss which "Rite of Marriage" (a ceremony During Mass or a ceremony Outside of Mass) that will be appropriate for your particular circumstances. Some of the issues that will be taken into consideration will be whether you are both Catholic or will you be entering into an interfaith marriage. He may ask about your personal relationship to the Mass and the Eucharist along with any personal preferences towards the length of your ceremony.

Once your presiding clergy has established both partners freedom to marry, you may be permitted to book your date.

Book a date for your ceremony

The Catholic Church requires that you book your date at least six months to a year before your marriage. The Church feels you need a minimum amount of time to properly prepare to enter into this permanent vocation. With the complexity of planning today's weddings, most couples book their weddings at least twelve months before their anticipated date. This will also give you ample time as an engaged couple for prayerful reflection and discussion.

Keep in mind that the periods of advent (4 weeks before Christmas} and Lent (the 40 days before Easter) are considered solemn, penitential periods in the church calendar. Because of the joyous nature of your celebration, marriages may be discouraged during these times, however they are still allowed.

If either of you have a living former spouse from a previous marriage you will, in most cases, have to seek an annulment of the first marriage. This can be a lengthy investigative process and must be completed before booking a wedding date.

Couples who are below a certain age will also have to participate in further instruction before a date can be provided with any certainty.

When planning your Catholic ceremony location do not consider a ceremony at the beach, in the park or any other exotic location. Wedding ceremonies outside of a church or chapel are not permitted. Traditionally the wedding ceremony will be held at the bride's home parish.

Destination weddings, and even those held outside your parish or in another country, although not impossible are treated differently. Permission must be obtained and numerous administrative details must be attended to. This may take extra time for the completion and distribution of paper work.


7-9 MONTHS BEFORE

Book your Marriage Preparation Sessions.

Depending on the region you live in, the name of these marriage preparation courses may differ although they all serve the same purpose, to assist couples in the preparation for marriage. As a couple, your participation in these sessions is usually a requirement prior to your marriage.

You will need to book your time as early as possible as these programs usually require advanced bookings. To read more information on these helpful sessions go to Your Engagement , What is Marriage Preparation

Start the selection process of scripture readings, prayers and vows

If you are invited to do so, this can be one of the most important aspects of creating your ceremony. As a couple, you will have the opportunity to form a wedding liturgy that truly reflects your personal statements of faith.

Take the time to review one of the many reference books available through your parish on this subject. Your selections should be made together through thoughtful prayer and discussion with the parish ministers in order to make choices that are attuned to your personal marriage values.

Your priest or other members of the pastoral team must approve your choices and may assist you in selecting readings and blessings for your wedding ceremony.

Meet with your Musical Director

Music selection will be an essential element in the formation of your wedding ceremony. Your music selections will set the tone for your wedding liturgy. It can convey a joyous, festive atmosphere or with the wrong selections, detract from it. We strongly suggest seeking the advice of your parish's professional music director.

They will also be an invaluable source for musicians or cantors who are familiar with your parish. These professionals are also in high demand and will require advanced booking. Many parishes do not allow the use of musicians that are not part of its music team.

To respect the solemnity of your ceremony the Church has set forth clear guidelines regarding the music that it considers acceptable. Your choices will be made from a wide selection of liturgical music either classical or contemporary. If you envisioned a performance of "our song" you will have to save it for the reception. For a more in depth discussion on music go to Music At Your Wedding Liturgy.

Make inquires of other church requirements

Each parish may have specific requirements or restrictions. These generally pertain to such items as the decorating of the church, the involvement of photographers during the ceremony or adding additional rituals to your ceremony. Working within these guidelines will be easier and potentially less embarrassing if you are aware of them early in your planning process.

5-7 MONTHS BEFORE:

Decide who will participate in your wedding ceremony and what duties they will perform

You may have opportunities to include family members or others as lectors (readers of your scripture selections). Do consider this choice carefully. Selecting a trained minister in this field is always the safest choice but if you have a gifted speaker in your family you may want to consider them. Check with the parish about who is permitted in this ministry before you ask anyone.

You may also include Catholic family members or friends in the presentation of the gifts. This is when the bread and wine is brought to the altar prior to the celebration of the Eucharist. Ideally you would choose someone special from your lives that is not performing other roles in your ceremony. As an example, godparents or grandparents may be delighted to be included in this way.

For a more complete list of ceremony participants and the duties they may perform go to Selecting Your Wedding Participants.

Select your bridal party members

Choose your Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor. Your witnesses do not have to be Catholic nor do they have to be one male and one female, however they must have a sufficient age. You may also have either two females or two males to fill this position. They will be your official witnesses and ideally a future support in the spiritual aspect of your marriage. For additional considerations when choosing your bridal party go to Selecting Your Wedding Participants.

Decide on your ceremony selections

Carefully review and discuss all the scripture readings, prayers, blessings and vows that are offered in the wedding ceremony. These are the elements that will make your ceremony your own by expressing your personal faith beliefs. You must review your choices with your officiate, as he must approve your selections. Once you have made your selections record them by title or selection number. The listing of all your selections will develop into a simple reference guide. This guide will also make the creation of your wedding ceremony program fast and easy.

2-3 MONTHS BEFORE:

Order your wedding ceremony programs

The use of a wedding ceremony program provides a beautiful worship aid. It will guide both your Catholic and non-Catholic guests through the liturgy, assisting the entire congregation to fully participate through prayer and song. Your wedding program will also give special recognition to all those who will be included in your wedding party. Give special consideration to any personal messages you may want to include on the back cover. For many guests your wedding program will become the most treasured memento of your special day.

Order your Catholic Wedding Ceremony Templates from CatholicBrides.com. Use your templates to start creating your ceremony and designing your programs. You can also use them as an easy resource to list all your wedding participants.

Consider the decorative needs of the church

Usually the only decorations permitted in the church are various flower arrangements or pew bows. They may range from the simplest bouquet of cut flowers to elaborate professional displays. This will depend on your personal style and budget, as well as the design of the building.

When ordering flowers you must also respect the liturgical season of the Church. Perhaps a few Poinsettias may be included during the advent season. Flowers are not permitted during Lent. Also take into consideration the placement of arrangements. Flowers are not to be placed on the altar or the ambo and their placement must never obscure the altar, ambo or the chairs for the officiate or the couple. Extra candleabra that are purely decorative may not be permitted in the sanctuary area.

You may want to check if any other weddings are booked for the same day. Some brides contact each other and make arrangements to share the cost of flowers for the church. Customarily, the flowers are left at the church so they may be enjoyed by the congregation at the following Sunday masses, but some parishes have numerous weddings during the day. Check with your parish as they may have a preference as to whether they would prefer to have your flowers left or removed.

2 MONTHS BEFORE:

Plan the greeting and seating of guests:

The greeting of your guests as they enter the church will be your first opportunity to extend your hospitality to them. Some couples have chosen to greet their guests personally before the ceremony begins, but many still maintain the tradition of having ushers only greet their guests. Ushers should be friendly and helpful, distributing wedding ceremony programs and showing people to their seats.

At larger weddings, you may order pew cards to ensure close family and friends are seated in the first few rows. Standard wedding etiquette often dictates that the family of the bride is seated on the left of the church while the family of the groom is seated on the right.

You may want to shake this up a bit! You may want to have all the parents seated together or the entire immediate family together. The church offers different forms of The Rite of Marriage to help ensure unity as the prime focus of your wedding liturgy. To have both families intermingled in the seating would be an appropriate way to initiate that sense of unity.

The Posting of your Banns

The posting of Banns is simply a public notice of your intention to wed. This is done to allow anyone with a valid reason to stop the wedding. It is the Catholic version of "if anyone knows of a reason this couple should not be married let them speak now."

In most cases the church will print this announcement in the church bulletin or announce it during the Sunday Mass. Usually the church secretary will attend to this detail.

The posting of your banns also notifies the congregation of your impending marriage. Bear in mind, your wedding ceremony is a public event in your faith community and any parishioner may attend your ceremony.

3-4 WEEKS BEFORE

Book your rehearsal time at the church

The rehearsal is an excellent time to perform any special acts of devotion that may be meaningful to you rather than during your wedding ceremony. Often theses private devotions put the assembly into the role of viewing rather than participating in this addition to the liturgy.

An example of this is the laying of flowers and prayer as an act of devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary, Some couples light candles while praying for the souls of family who have passed and can not be with them.

The rehearsal will have a more relaxed atmosphere to reflect on these personal devotions. Advise your priest of any extras you would like to add to the rehearsal in order to avoid time constraints. For a more in-depth look at some of these additions, go to Customs, Traditions and Superstitions.

The rehearsal is often handled by a lay member of the parish staff, often someone responsible for all rehearsals. This is not the time to argue matters of taste or preference; the one handling the rehearsal is not permitted to change parish policy. The priest or deacon will not be willing to do so either at this time. These matters should have been discussed earlier. Do not invite unnecessary family members or friends to the rehearsal.

Have a final meeting with your Presider

Address any personal requests your presider may have. Some parishes have preferences as to where your photographer and/or videographer should be positioned during the ceremony. If you will be having pictures taken before or after the ceremony; some scheduling issues may need to be addressed. Advise your photographer that you wish to allow enough time for prayer and relaxation before the ceremony begins.

Keep in mind that there may be another wedding following yours. You should make arrangements to have someone tidy up by removing pew bows, forgotten items or the removal of flowers.

Make arrangements for the receiving of the Eucharist

Make arrangements with your church if you or other bridal party members would like to participate in a Mass and receive the Eucharist before your wedding ceremony. This would only be necessary if you are having a ceremony outside of the Mass.

1-2 WEEKS BEFORE

Prepare through the Sacrament of Reconciliation

This would be an appropriate time to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation. To ask and receive the forgiveness of past discretions from your single life is the perfect way to prepare for your marriage ceremony. If you are hesitant to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation, go to Receiving the Sacrament of Confession, in the Sharing Our Faith section.

Check in with your musical director

Touch base with your priest, music director, any musicians you may be using.

Provide Scripture Reading material to Readers

Check on persons that you have requested to read and make sure they have familiarized themselves with their scripture readings. Some readings may require practice on the correct pronunciation of unfamiliar biblical names or places. Have them do a mini rehearsal and check for presentation, volume and clarity.

Prepare your Stipends

The stipends is the offering of funds for services provided. Your offering will be a gesture of appreciation while aiding in the support of your parish. Your parish does not exist through grace alone nor does your officiate. Be as generous as possible,

Contact your parish office for information on the customary amount for the stipends that should be given,. Your parish may have a standard all inclusive fee.

If this in not the case you will make separate offerings. Any checks to your officiate should be made payable directly to him. If you have used the services of altar servers, lectors or cantors they should also be reimbursed for their time along with other members of your parish ministry that have contributed during your ceremony. Some members such as musicians will have a standard fee and may wish to be reimbursed beforehand. Your best man attends to distributing these funds (in marked envelopes), or the groom may wish to distribute them personally while thanking your officiate after the ceremony.

1-2 days before

Rehearse your wedding ceremony

Traditionally the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner afterwards represents the start of the wedding festivities and are usually held the night before the wedding. You may be caught up in a whirl of activity attending to last minute details or visiting with out of town guests. If possible try to schedule your rehearsal a few days before the wedding this will allow more time for relaxation before the big day.

Have a last date as a single couple

Why not celebrate the end of your journey together as singles. Take some time as a couple for some private time together and a moment of prayer in preparation for the new journey you will be starting. Congratulate yourselves on a job well done and leave the rest in the hands of the Lord.

Your Wedding Day

One of the main details of planning your wedding day is often overlooked or simply ignored; getting to the Church on Time. The term "arriving fashionable late" never applies to your ceremony.

To delay the start of the Liturgy due to lateness from the bride/groom or any member of the wedding party, shows a complete lack of manners and taste. Lateness demonstrates a lack of respect for the Liturgy itself, and also for your priest or deacon and other members of the ministry that are contributing their time.

Always plan to arrive at least 15 minutes earlier than the set time for your ceremony. This time should be used for quiet reflection and calmness, not taking pictures. There may be an area in the church where you can relax or you can simply wait in your car/limousine. Either way, all members of the wedding party should be waiting at the church for the ceremony to begin.

If you are having any pictures taken before hand, then you must arrive even earlier. Pictures can be time consuming, so it's easy to loose track of time. Designate a member of your wedding party to wear a watch. Have them remind you when your 15 minutes of quiet time is approaching; then if required, firmly advise your photographer that the wedding party is no longer available for pictures.