Some couples are hesitant to reveal their current living situation when meeting with their officiate, understanding that their situation is contradictory to the Church's teaching.

You may believe that because of your lifestyle choice you will be harshly criticized and perhaps even turned away. Your Catholic Church has no desire to condemn or punish you, instead it wishes to support your desire to strengthen your relationship through a lifelong commitment by choosing to marry.

In our current secular culture, living together has become considered merely a prelude to entering into marriage, particularly for women. Many couples may have entered into cohabitation as a means of testing out their relationship before marrying, believing that they are increasing their odds of success. Study after study has proven that couples who have cohabitated before marriage are at a greater risk of divorce than those who have remained separate, and after marriage they experience more marital dissatisfaction.

When you approach the Church with the intention to marry you will not knock on a closed door, rather you will be welcomed as someone wishing to change your situation. The Church wishes to embrace you through an atmosphere of love, charity and understanding, just as God does with all who seek Him out. However, be aware that you may need special attention to achieve a content future marriage.

Numerous statistical reports confirm that 45% of couples living together breakup before marrying and another 10% continue to live together without marriage.(Fields census 2000). Cohabitating couples who do marry have a hazard of divorce 46% higher than those who have not previously lived together. (Demaris & Roa 1992) NSFH studies concurs with this finding (Bumpass & Sweet 1995)

Unfortunately the legacy of this trend continues on to the children. Out of wedlock births have jumped from 224,000 in 1960 to 1.35 million in 2000, a third of all births. Currently 19.2 million children now live with a single parent.(Bumpass & Lee 2000). In 2005 the practice of living together continues despite the hundreds of studies confirming that married couples are happier, healthier, wealthier and have more sex.

Many couples may not be clear of the teachings of the Church on this subject and why it is taught. The Church's teachings are never based on current cultural trends but instead are rooted directly to the bible and the teachings of Jesus. This article does not explore the teachings of the church on this subject but instead is intended to increase your confidence when confiding your current living situation to your priest. Only through your complete honesty can your priest or deacon begin to guide and council you in a manner specific to your special needs.

CatholicBrides.com would like to recommend a thought provoking, yet sensitive book on this subject. "Getting Married, Living Together" By Anthony J. Garascia,
Published by Ave Maria Press.

The following is an excerpt from an article contributed by the Family Ministries Office of the Archdiocese of Chicago. Their website is www.familyministries.org.
If you are getting married in the Chicago area, this site will be a valuable resource for you.

The following information may not apply to your diocese or parish.

What To Expect When Speaking To Your Priest.

Upon meeting with your priest the following questions might be asked: